So There’s This Guy

And he is annoying the heck out of me……

Let me go back:

The day after my birthday, I went to where he works and it was pretty tense between us, I sat down with a co-worker/boss of his for 30 minutes (just talking!), but Xiaolong kept coming up and putting his hand on my shoulder/back…kind of possessively? Then when the guy went away Xiaolong came up to me and said I was “bad”. I really didn’t mean it in that way, I usually flirt madly but I didn’t even exchange numbers with the guy, I’m taming down. Somehow by the end of the night we ended up sitting in the corner holding hands, blahblah, and he said, “Why would you like me? I’m not good enough (he didn’t graduate from college but he’s so sweet)”. I said, “What do you mean? You’re great” Which he took as a confession, if you have ever watched asian dramas you know what I’m talking about. To get together one person has to say the actual words I like you. I guess he took that as an implied confession, then started talking with me about problems that might come up in our relationship, like me going back to America, and our cultural background differences. I was surprised by how seriously it was getting, but I was tipsy so responded with things like, don’t worry about that, it will work out etc.

The next night Patrick and some of his gym-buddies were having a get together at Helen’s, I was a bit apprehensive about going but decided to anyways. Upon arrival, Xiaolong was working and I pretended not to see him (he hadn’t texted the whole day so I decided he didn’t deserve my attention). He came up and hugged me anyways. While I was talking to Patrick’s friend (a muscular, nice guy, but my flirting was minimal at best…I was pining), Xiaolong took my friend Avi outside for a conversation that lasted 10 minutes. When they got back inside, I accosted Avi to find out the details, but like a typical guy he only remembered the bare bones, that XL said he liked me but wasn’t sure how to proceed, and the fact that I have a lot of guy friends hitting on me didn’t help I’m sure. I decided to go up and talk to him for a minute; he gave me a free drink but had to go back to work. At the end of the night (one of my other Dictionaries came by and tried to take me away for the night, but I was stubbornly waiting for his shift to finish, so didn’t leave). In the end, he came and sat next to me and said the most annoying thing ever, “I need to think about it and I will give you an answer tomorrow”. This pissed me off, not only did it make it seem like I am the one asking for a relationship (which I was not!) but the ball was in his court and he got all of the power. Even though I really didn’t ask I was still on pins and needles the whole next day. He finally texted at 9pm, Yes, but let’s take it slow. I wrote back, of course we are going to take it slow (what the heck, he was acting like I wanted to move in with him). That same night, I went to a new club with my friends, while there I made sure not to get too drunk, and only American danced at a minimum. Around 2am we all went over to Helen’s. He was getting done working so he and his co-workers (whom I love) were sitting around drinking. After 10 he took me over to an empty table and we just held hands and he started talking about how Americans date (he was obsessed with doing it right), and saying that having a foreign girlfriend is different. I was like, HOLD ON, girlfriend?…Does that make you my boyfriend? Which he said yes to, I was confused, to me that’s the opposite of taking it slow, but I didn’t argue. Maybe he meant taking it slow on the physical side of things, I haven’t told him I’m a virgin yet, which means he wouldn’t have to worry about my wiley western ways, haha. Anyways now I’m not sure if we are dating, I won’t call him my boyfriend until we have a few dates, American of me I know, but habits are hard to break…and it makes sense. Try each other out before taking the leap!


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  1. Trackback: 2013 Blogs by Western Women Who Love Chinese Men | Speaking of China

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