Royally Screwed

Would you all like to hear how I royally screwed things up with Brandon? (Brandon= My one true love, with incredibly sexy forearms who used to work in Helen’s) Of course you do, we all are a little bit sadistic on the inside 🙂

Well one day back in January, both Moon and Brandon texted me similar messages about going back home and how they each had to change numbers (their Tianjin numbers didn’t work all the way out there). Brilliant me, I assumed it was only Moon texting me about his changed number, so I unwittingly saved Brandon’s home number as “Moon Home”. As a girl, when we have a guy friend we sometimes text them crazy things right? So I remember sending at least one crazy message that went something like this: Moon, you are the moonlight in my life, I couldn’t help but fall for you. Say you will be mine!

The response I got back was kind of un-Moon like but I just ignored that, it was a dry, “haha” and went on to describe recent activities.

I’m pretty sure that other messages were sent but I just can’t remember. The icing on the cake though was the drunk text I sent “Moon” two weeks ago, it said simply, “Moon I miss you, where are you?” Saying you miss someone in Chinese is not a big deal, I know we don’t use it as much in English, so it isn’t a TERRIBLY bad message. The next day I got a call from “Moon”, missed it, and then called him back.  We exchanged the simple “hello”s and “how are you doing?”s, then I stopped and asked, “Moon?” I noticed right away that he sounded strange, but assumed it was because he caught a cold and his voice changed….not the case though, because his response, “No, it’s Brandon.”


I died a small death right then, I started blubbering about my phone breaking and contacts getting messed up. He must have thought that Moon was a nickname I gave him, something he obviously knew was not the case in that second. We talked for a few minutes and said our goodbyes. I wanted to scream, how could I be that unlucky, now he must think I’m obviously in love with someone named Moon, and I couldn’t call back to explain that he is “just a friend” because that would have been too forward and presumptuous. Putting myself in his shoes I would have been livid, imagine a guy texting you and using another girl’s name, like, “Jessica, I miss you, where are you?”

…Yeah,   there’s no going back from that. So sad, and I had so many plans for his forearms *tear*. Needless to say, his text messages have stopped coming and he hasn’t called me in two weeks either. In conclusion, my life should be a sitcom, right? Happy Valentine’s Day to those with better fortune! And for those out there like me with no man (or woman) candy, screw this holiday made by chocolate companies and happy couples, haha.


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