I Give Up

Wow , I just received news that leaves me fuming. As we all know, Brandon is the waiter at my favorite haunt, Helen’s. When he first arrived a few months ago we were pretty flirty, and by flirty I mean it was a two way street. Last month, a week after I decided to let him go and stop crushing on him, Brandon and my friend Alex decided to hang out in Beijing one weekend. Brandon usually works weekends, but he took that one off because a friend from his hometown wanted to see the Forbidden Palace. I was against the idea, I didn’t want to spend more time with the guy I was trying to distance myself from. But he and Alex talked me into it, Brandon wanted to go clubbing for the first time in his life and even wanted to get tipsy beforehand….of course I couldn’t resist. Well, when Alex and I arrived in Beijing the next day, Brandon was acting shady and started making excuses about why he couldn’t hang out with us. I was so mad at him then, but it just helped me along the whole “don’t like him anymore” phase I was going through. So we went out anyways, had a bunch of free drinks and had a grand old time. The week after the debacle Brandon tried to make it up to me with free drinks and half-off entrees and eventually I forgave him. It was all in the past….until today when I found out why he wouldn’t hang out with us.

That new girlfriend of his that I mentioned in my last post, she was a friend of his before (they both grew up in HuBei province)and knows about the supposed “relationship” between Brandon and I. Apparently, she’s a jealous harpy and forbade him from hanging out with us, and by us I mean ME, in Beijing. Nothing happened between the two of us, so I don’t even know why Brandon had to tell her about me, it’s so confusingly annoying. I’m sick and tired of girls thinking I will steal their men, when I know a guy has a girlfriend he is off limits to me. I wonder if I somehow scream whore despite this fact, because all of my guy friends (except the gay ones) have girlfriends who basically hate me. When I know a guy has a girlfriend he drops off my radar so it doesn’t even need to be a situation. At least in this Hu Bei girl’s defense I actually was trying to make a move on her man….granted it was before he was her man so I feel no guilt.

At this point, I am beyond over Brandon, from now on he is getting the cold, neutrally polite shoulder granted to any waiter in my presence. I really need to get some fresh blood around here….


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. excentricyoruba
    Mar 25, 2012 @ 04:22:04

    Sorry to hear about this! I honestly think the girls may be intimidated by you and worried that their boyfriends may end up falling for your awesomeness. From reading your blog, I can say that I’ve yet to see anything about you that screams ‘whore’. You come across as smart, intelligent and down to earth. I personally think those ladies are suffering from low self-esteem and are just trying to find ways to control/hold on to their boyfriends. Pay them and their jealousy no heed.

    I wish you the best in getting some fresh blood around you.


    • marshabarsha
      Mar 28, 2012 @ 16:16:23

      Your comment made me feel so great! Thanks, you made my day~~

      Yeah, I need to just focus on Chinese and getting my academic life in order; graduating in under a year and am facing the scary prospect of becoming a real “adult”, haha.


  2. anonymous
    Mar 26, 2012 @ 01:50:31

    Hi Marsha,

    Sorry to hear about the bad vibe with your friend from Helen’s. I am thinking that the girlfriend probably feels threatened with you being a foriegner. She is probably insecure, and not wanting to take any chances of losing him. It seems to me like it was up to Brandon to clear the air with his girlfriend, give her a sense of security and reassure her, and perhaps explain the situation to you. Sorry to hear that it all ended the way it did. During my time in Mexico some of the women would give off a funny vibe. They relaxed a little after we were there for awhile. I wondered aloud why they felt that way, since so many of them were absolutely beautiful, and we had come to the country for the cultural experience not to steal anyone’s man. The guys did notice us, and were fascinated by us, and also in some cases people did date each other, but no one wanted to interfere in someone elses relationship. Sigh! I guess that sometimes misunderstandings are inevitable, especially when it involves two cultures. Sending love and good vibes your way. Hopefully you will meet someone who is extra special. Sorry for the long post.


    • marshabarsha
      Mar 28, 2012 @ 16:20:05

      Don’t apologize for long posts! I like reading what you guys have to say….sometimes it’s nice not to have one-sided conversations (ie. writing a blog, haha).

      Yeah, I get strange vibes from women sometimes too, but maybe it’s because we are seen as “exotic” in these far off place and therefore more appealing….in a circus show kind of way?! Lol. Thank you for the well wishes and I hope to have better things in the future as well (so I can post about it and keep this one-sided conversation alive!)


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